Instincts at Their Best

I think it's pretty safe to say that every woman wonders if she'll know what to do when her baby makes it's debut into this world. Things like, will I know what to do when my baby cries? How will I know what she wants? Will I know when to feed the baby? What about when she's sick? It's not like they can tell you. What if they're too hot? Or too cold? Will breastfeeding be easy? What if I sleep through her crying? Will I know how to soothe her? What if I'm annoying her with my 8,395,651,990 kisses? I could go on.

During my pregnancy, I had enough control to file away the "what if's" of having a newborn and knew nature would guide me. Maternal instincts-isn't that what it's called? I had enough to worry about in the present moment.

Then she was here.

Happy, and healthy, and turning my world upside down. She had no problem letting me know when it was time to eat. That silly little rooting reflex? It's not just cute, there really is a purpose. If you don't catch it in time, you're in for one screaming little alien-face. Speaking of those cries, you learn pretty fast the difference between the "Give me food NOW!" cry and the "MOM! I shit my pants again!" cry. You also spend so much time feeding and changing their diaper, you notice the slightest change of color in their feces and any change in temperament. You even log the number of times in a day you get the pleasure of coming into close contact with said feces. This all helps with knowing if they're sick. If you're still unsure, there's always that pleasant rectal thermometer. I think I was more scared about taking her temperature than giving birth. Then there's breastfeeding. While it may be natural, it is a learned process on both mother and baby's part. Thank goodness Sydney took the reins on that one. Finally, time will allow you get to know your baby. Their likes, dislikes, and how to make everything in their world seem right.

The biggest worry for me was during the night. Many parents fear that the baby will stop breathing in their sleep. It's big enough to drive you insane(if you're not already riding on that train). I could only get through those nights because of my video monitor. Sure, sometimes when she was still for too long I would run in to place my hand on her chest, but at least I felt confident knowing I could hear her cries with that thing on full blast next to my ear.

Fast forward seven months and I laugh at myself for thinking it was even fathomable that I could sleep through the slightest peep. those first couple months, sleep is what you call getting a five minute nap in. There's no way you're getting a deep sleep fix anyway. Nature has programmed women to instantly be filled with anxiety at any sign of distress in your baby. Now that my baby is sleeping through the night, I am sleeping like a rock. And still, when she randomly decides she needs to eat at 3am, I jump up before my eyes even open. I don't even have the monitor volume on anymore. I hear my baby because that's what I am programed to do.

Now if only getting back to my precious sleep was that easy...