So what is with men? Is it laziness or just pure stupidity? If it's the former, then how far do you let your do-nothingness prioritize over your baby's caretaking?
Every time I get myself into the mindset of "this is my family and I will take care of them without complaining because that's what you do for the people you love", shit like this happens and totally blows my focus. If I want it done right, I must do it myself. Isn't that how it goes? But why should I HAVE to do everything myself? It's really starting me make me crazy. Let me explain.
Jason changed Sydney's last couple diapers last night plus the one this morning, and when I changed her before her nap just now, her butt was SO red. Any redder it would be bleeding. That's GOT to be painful. I mean, doesn't anybody with a brain know to put diaper creme on at the very onset of a rash? It's not going away on it's own, so why wait for it to turn the color of Santa's hat? Can he really be that oblivious?
I'm seriously beginning to believe that.
I know he means well, and he loves Sydney. He worries about her eating too much. He's attentive to her pooping comfort, you know, like he'll rub her belly when she's pushing, help her stretch out. He even STILL feels the need to tell me not to fall asleep side-nursing for fear that I'll crush her. So, like all the aforementioned concerns, how does your parental instincts not kick in over a rash?
Maybe I am overreacting. I'm sure he's just got other things on his mind. Like, making sure his family has A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS. Just sayin.
I'm a jerk.
I guess should give him a break.
My Sydney
We seem to be stagnant in the milestone game. No new teeth, no crawling. She has been rocking back and forth the past two days so maybe she'll start soon. Although, she's not up on her knees when she does it, just her hands. She does seem more content playing on her tummy these days. She should be pretty strong as that's all she practicing in her crib at night.
Up. Down. Up. Down. Scoot against the rail. Up. Down. Up. down. Face plant into the rail. Briefly yell out in protest. Up. Down. Take a break. Begin where leaving off.
She's also moved on from saying Dada and is now on a Mom kick. I'm loving that, OBVIOUSLY. Who cares if she doesn't know what it means? I still have a chance of me being her first word! I was beginning to get discouraged. In your face-DADDY!
I'm not really sure where September has gone. Which means my little darling is two weeks away from being eight months old. I'm going to ignore that fact, and instead focus on the wonderful holiday seasons coming up. October 1st, I'm going to put Sydney in her first Halloween outfit. It's the cutest one I've ever seen. We have yet to find the perfect Halloween costume. I'm excited to make her look as cute and ridiculous as possible. You know, so I can add those pictures to her "embarrassing photo's to show boyfriends" box. I've got quite the collection of silly faces and poses already.
Other funny mannerisms she's doing lately include dancing, shaking her head in a no motion, and flexing her back forward and backward-all at the same time. She decided she now likes to jump in her exersaucer too. Note to baby: THAT'S WHAT YOUR JUMPER IS FOR. She softly sings when she hears music, a whistle, or anything else with a tune. It's the sweetest sound ever.
Well, it's time to go get her from her nap so I guess that's all for now, folks.
Up. Down. Up. Down. Scoot against the rail. Up. Down. Up. down. Face plant into the rail. Briefly yell out in protest. Up. Down. Take a break. Begin where leaving off.
She's also moved on from saying Dada and is now on a Mom kick. I'm loving that, OBVIOUSLY. Who cares if she doesn't know what it means? I still have a chance of me being her first word! I was beginning to get discouraged. In your face-DADDY!
I'm not really sure where September has gone. Which means my little darling is two weeks away from being eight months old. I'm going to ignore that fact, and instead focus on the wonderful holiday seasons coming up. October 1st, I'm going to put Sydney in her first Halloween outfit. It's the cutest one I've ever seen. We have yet to find the perfect Halloween costume. I'm excited to make her look as cute and ridiculous as possible. You know, so I can add those pictures to her "embarrassing photo's to show boyfriends" box. I've got quite the collection of silly faces and poses already.
Other funny mannerisms she's doing lately include dancing, shaking her head in a no motion, and flexing her back forward and backward-all at the same time. She decided she now likes to jump in her exersaucer too. Note to baby: THAT'S WHAT YOUR JUMPER IS FOR. She softly sings when she hears music, a whistle, or anything else with a tune. It's the sweetest sound ever.
Well, it's time to go get her from her nap so I guess that's all for now, folks.
I'm a liar.
I was working on my blog last night when Jason appeared over my shoulder. He decided to finally read a bit of my blog when he noticed his name. Bad idea. He now is standing a little bit taller because of how I talked him up. Truth is, I'm full of shit. I told Jason I was going to come clean about him. While he loves his daughter dearly, I do usually have to yell at him to help out. It's never without a fight. He is just not a fan of babies. Sydney yes, but he'd just rather have a toddler to talk and play around with. I don't mind having to do all the work, I love it actually, I just want him and Sydney to spend more time together. I know I'm not the only woman that's ever felt this way.
I will continue to lie about how wonderful Jason is when it comes to helping me take care of our daughter. Behind the screen, we will continue to fight about it.
To be fair, I am now off to add a new section to my blog. It's going to be called "Rebuttal by Jason". He wants to let you know how crazy I am. Stay tuned.
I will continue to lie about how wonderful Jason is when it comes to helping me take care of our daughter. Behind the screen, we will continue to fight about it.
To be fair, I am now off to add a new section to my blog. It's going to be called "Rebuttal by Jason". He wants to let you know how crazy I am. Stay tuned.
What do you mean no sick days?
Mommies don't get sick days. Yesterday I was sick. Aside from the usual exhaustion stuff, I haven't been sick in over a year. Now I was sick with a baby. I sure lucked out this time having Jason home. I got to stay in bed, have breakfast and dinner brought to me. He even brought Sydney to me when it was time to nurse. He played with her all day and took care of the parenting duties. Today I felt much better. Good thing too, because he had plans to go out on the lake. No way he would have canceled them!
Mommy better toughen up because we haven't even gotten to the hard stuff yet!
Mommy better toughen up because we haven't even gotten to the hard stuff yet!
Flashback: The First 3 Months
In wallowing in my sorrows over my baby getting older, I'm wanting to document every detail before too much time has gone by. I started my blog when Sydney was three months old. This means she had moved on to her infancy stage, and was no longer a newborn. I was so sleep deprived and learning how to be a mother, all while trying to recover from having a baby and MAJOR abdominal surgery (that's fancy for c-section). I was more worried about coping with my physical and emotional issues than blogging during those first three months. So I'm rewinding back to the first week Sydney was born. I'll try to keep it short, but I'm not promising anything.
Let's start with the day she was born.
After a traumatic experience (aka childbirth), I was so overcome with love that all the pain and blurred memories up until that point were immediately forgotten. I finally got to meet this amazing life we created (as well as put a face to those KICKS that were keeping me up every night). She was place in my arms for the first time. It was magical.
Then my epidural wore off. Not so magical.
I looked like crap. I was juiced up with IV fluid and missing half the blood in my body. But I was suddenly a mommy to the most beautiful little girl in the WORLD. I couldn't believe she was here, and she was mine.
That's all I remember about our first few hours.
The next day was Sydney's first holiday. It was Valentines Day. How appropriate? A celebration of love.
My brand new baby, and my brand new diamond earrings...
..were enough to get me through the pain of being gutted. (Yup, I got a push present and didn't even have to push!)
On day three, my milk came in. It wasn't nearly as painful as the c-section, but it made a hearty effort. Good thing my baby was as hungry as I was wanting to feed her! She was such a good little breast feeder too (as long as I could keep her awake enough to latch). I deserved it after all I went through.
Five days after being admitted to the hospital, we were finally sent home ALONE with our very own baby and a prescription for 50 Percocet.
It was the car ride from HELL. I think I felt every rock in the road.
My Sydney didn't make a peep though.
Home, sweet home. I had never been so happy to be home. This first day was filled with boobs, diapers, and pain killers. There was lots of crying (on my part mostly) and I had never felt so thirsty in my life. Still unable to move, I had to rely on Jason to take care of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. He even had to help me pee! When Sydney wasn't feeding, she napped in her Boppy right by my side.
When bedtime rolled around, I realized I had to put my baby in her crib. OH. MY. GOD. It was the end of the world. My baby had been less than one foot away from me since the day she was born.
This is where I would like to nickname my video monitor "The Savior". It was a rough night, but we made it through in one piece.
Over the the next couple days, I slept when I could,
cried often, and tried not to be too demanding of Jason. I honestly cannot remember even eating that first week. If it wasn't for Jason, I probably wouldn't have. He even took over all the diaper changes.
That first week also included Sydney's first bath.
She still had her umbilical cord, so she couldn't get that wet. It was awkward and sweet and filled with anxiety all at the same time. How else is a new mom supposed to feel when her baby cries?
At one week old, Sydney had her first outing to the Pediatrician's office.
Stepping outside into what seemed like the gateway to heaven, I savored the warmth of the sun on my face. I was waddling in pain, but at least I was only on Tylenol by that point. The appointment went perfectly. Sydney was 6lbs 7 oz. Little porker! Her doctor said most babies are just back up to their birth weight at that point and she was way over. He asked what were feeding her. "Just the boob," I told him!
We made it through our first week as parents. More importantly, Sydney was still intact.
On February 28, 2009, My hormones got the best of me. Here was my email to Jason:
"Did you give her formula last night? You left the evidence on the counter. I'm so pissed. You wake me up next time if she's not taking the breast milk."
I have nothing against formula, but I was already upset about having to supplement Sydney until my milk came in, and breast feeding was going so well. How dare he "poison" my baby's digestive system!
At exactly two weeks old, I managed to convince Jason we just HAD TO HAVE professional shots of Syd because "she was never going to be two weeks old again". The actual shoot was a total disappointment, but we still got a few good pictures out of it. This was my favorite:
Soon after that, Syd had her first out-of-town visitors: Nanner Dianer and Pop-Pop Bill. Sydney was adored, gawked over, and loved. Mommy, on the other hand, hadn't up until that point, had to "share" her baby. It was hard. I felt selfish. But I didn't care. I MADE her.
While visiting, we had went out to buy a few cute girly outfits and other baby items. One being a breast pump. I got to have a beer after months and months of sobriety. I also was finally able to get some relief from the engorgement. PRAISE THE BREASTPUMP! Jason and I even got out to see a movie. I was worrying about my baby the ENTIRE time, but it was so nice of that Nanner Dianer to give us a break.
Sydney officially lost her umbilical cord at two weeks, and got her first real bath shortly after.
This went much better when bubbles were involved.
March 10, 2009:
March 20, 2009:
I officially quit my job to be a stay-at-home-mom. (2nd) BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In the middle of March, I bought my first book about Baby's first year. When I was pregnant, I used to tell Jason what was growing and happening each month, so when he started asking about her, you know, when she was actually here, I had no idea what to tell him. I had books galore on pregnancy and NOTHING on babies! It's format was week by week so it was interesting to read. It told me what I could do each week for her development and bonding, milestones, etc.
March 25, 2009:
I had my six-week postpartum checkup. Lost 24 pounds since birth-20 in the first week and then I seemed to stall. Everything looked great.
March 26, 2009:
March 28, 2009:
Sydney had her first day at the park.
It was the first week I had no doubt she was smiling.
AND the first time she went fishing.
April 12, 2009:
Sydney's First Easter.
We dyed eggs!
I also played photographer.
April 15, 2009: Our first breastfeeding shot
May 5, 2009: I started this blog. :)
It's so hard to remember all the little things when you're running on five minutes of sleep. I mean, look how delirious we looked those first couple weeks:
I swear, we were very happy.
One thing I never want to forget, is the startle reflex. This is when the baby jumps in her sleep, arms reaching out.
It was the sweetest and funniest thing I had ever seen.
I don't want to forget her hilarious "poop face".
Thanks to this vision of humor, I always knew when to declare "Daddy's turn!"
I especially never want to forget how phenomenal Jason was those early days.
He was a natural at fatherhood, and helped out without one complaint. I don't know how I would have gotten through everything without him.
And now? Now I just want to punch him in the face. Just kidding. Sydney wants to punch him too.
Let's start with the day she was born.
After a traumatic experience (aka childbirth), I was so overcome with love that all the pain and blurred memories up until that point were immediately forgotten. I finally got to meet this amazing life we created (as well as put a face to those KICKS that were keeping me up every night). She was place in my arms for the first time. It was magical.
Then my epidural wore off. Not so magical.
I looked like crap. I was juiced up with IV fluid and missing half the blood in my body. But I was suddenly a mommy to the most beautiful little girl in the WORLD. I couldn't believe she was here, and she was mine.
That's all I remember about our first few hours.
The next day was Sydney's first holiday. It was Valentines Day. How appropriate? A celebration of love.
My brand new baby, and my brand new diamond earrings...
..were enough to get me through the pain of being gutted. (Yup, I got a push present and didn't even have to push!)
On day three, my milk came in. It wasn't nearly as painful as the c-section, but it made a hearty effort. Good thing my baby was as hungry as I was wanting to feed her! She was such a good little breast feeder too (as long as I could keep her awake enough to latch). I deserved it after all I went through.
Five days after being admitted to the hospital, we were finally sent home ALONE with our very own baby and a prescription for 50 Percocet.
It was the car ride from HELL. I think I felt every rock in the road.
My Sydney didn't make a peep though.
Home, sweet home. I had never been so happy to be home. This first day was filled with boobs, diapers, and pain killers. There was lots of crying (on my part mostly) and I had never felt so thirsty in my life. Still unable to move, I had to rely on Jason to take care of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. He even had to help me pee! When Sydney wasn't feeding, she napped in her Boppy right by my side.
When bedtime rolled around, I realized I had to put my baby in her crib. OH. MY. GOD. It was the end of the world. My baby had been less than one foot away from me since the day she was born.
This is where I would like to nickname my video monitor "The Savior". It was a rough night, but we made it through in one piece.
Over the the next couple days, I slept when I could,
cried often, and tried not to be too demanding of Jason. I honestly cannot remember even eating that first week. If it wasn't for Jason, I probably wouldn't have. He even took over all the diaper changes.
That first week also included Sydney's first bath.
She still had her umbilical cord, so she couldn't get that wet. It was awkward and sweet and filled with anxiety all at the same time. How else is a new mom supposed to feel when her baby cries?
At one week old, Sydney had her first outing to the Pediatrician's office.
Stepping outside into what seemed like the gateway to heaven, I savored the warmth of the sun on my face. I was waddling in pain, but at least I was only on Tylenol by that point. The appointment went perfectly. Sydney was 6lbs 7 oz. Little porker! Her doctor said most babies are just back up to their birth weight at that point and she was way over. He asked what were feeding her. "Just the boob," I told him!
We made it through our first week as parents. More importantly, Sydney was still intact.
On February 28, 2009, My hormones got the best of me. Here was my email to Jason:
"Did you give her formula last night? You left the evidence on the counter. I'm so pissed. You wake me up next time if she's not taking the breast milk."
I have nothing against formula, but I was already upset about having to supplement Sydney until my milk came in, and breast feeding was going so well. How dare he "poison" my baby's digestive system!
At exactly two weeks old, I managed to convince Jason we just HAD TO HAVE professional shots of Syd because "she was never going to be two weeks old again". The actual shoot was a total disappointment, but we still got a few good pictures out of it. This was my favorite:
Soon after that, Syd had her first out-of-town visitors: Nanner Dianer and Pop-Pop Bill. Sydney was adored, gawked over, and loved. Mommy, on the other hand, hadn't up until that point, had to "share" her baby. It was hard. I felt selfish. But I didn't care. I MADE her.
While visiting, we had went out to buy a few cute girly outfits and other baby items. One being a breast pump. I got to have a beer after months and months of sobriety. I also was finally able to get some relief from the engorgement. PRAISE THE BREASTPUMP! Jason and I even got out to see a movie. I was worrying about my baby the ENTIRE time, but it was so nice of that Nanner Dianer to give us a break.
Sydney officially lost her umbilical cord at two weeks, and got her first real bath shortly after.
This went much better when bubbles were involved.
March 10, 2009:
March 20, 2009:
I officially quit my job to be a stay-at-home-mom. (2nd) BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In the middle of March, I bought my first book about Baby's first year. When I was pregnant, I used to tell Jason what was growing and happening each month, so when he started asking about her, you know, when she was actually here, I had no idea what to tell him. I had books galore on pregnancy and NOTHING on babies! It's format was week by week so it was interesting to read. It told me what I could do each week for her development and bonding, milestones, etc.
March 25, 2009:
I had my six-week postpartum checkup. Lost 24 pounds since birth-20 in the first week and then I seemed to stall. Everything looked great.
March 26, 2009:
March 28, 2009:
Sydney had her first day at the park.
It was the first week I had no doubt she was smiling.
AND the first time she went fishing.
April 12, 2009:
Sydney's First Easter.
We dyed eggs!
I also played photographer.
April 15, 2009: Our first breastfeeding shot
May 5, 2009: I started this blog. :)
It's so hard to remember all the little things when you're running on five minutes of sleep. I mean, look how delirious we looked those first couple weeks:
I swear, we were very happy.
One thing I never want to forget, is the startle reflex. This is when the baby jumps in her sleep, arms reaching out.
It was the sweetest and funniest thing I had ever seen.
I don't want to forget her hilarious "poop face".
Thanks to this vision of humor, I always knew when to declare "Daddy's turn!"
I especially never want to forget how phenomenal Jason was those early days.
He was a natural at fatherhood, and helped out without one complaint. I don't know how I would have gotten through everything without him.
And now? Now I just want to punch him in the face. Just kidding. Sydney wants to punch him too.
In Our Jammies
This is me:
My sexy sleepwear went out the door about 6.5 months into my pregnancy. I guess I'm still getting used to my post-baby body. Actually, I love my new curves. They're just not as held-together as they used to be. So I prefer comfortable over revealing these days. Plus it's more appropriate chasing around this little girl:
Isn't she the cutest? She likes to eat her mommy:
And Mommy likes to tickle her cheek with whispers.
There's never a shortage of kisses in this house.
I get paid in HUGE smiles.
I love her serious face, bottom lip tucked in.
I even love her ever-growing finger nails.
I think she's secretly trying to rip my boob off with those things. But how could I possibly get angry at this face:
-even if there's an evil little gleam in her eyes.
She's always scheming something.
But usually she just wants her mommy. :)
My sexy sleepwear went out the door about 6.5 months into my pregnancy. I guess I'm still getting used to my post-baby body. Actually, I love my new curves. They're just not as held-together as they used to be. So I prefer comfortable over revealing these days. Plus it's more appropriate chasing around this little girl:
Isn't she the cutest? She likes to eat her mommy:
And Mommy likes to tickle her cheek with whispers.
There's never a shortage of kisses in this house.
I get paid in HUGE smiles.
I love her serious face, bottom lip tucked in.
I even love her ever-growing finger nails.
I think she's secretly trying to rip my boob off with those things. But how could I possibly get angry at this face:
-even if there's an evil little gleam in her eyes.
She's always scheming something.
But usually she just wants her mommy. :)
Hey, Baby!
When I picked you up first thing this morning, immediately I thought, "When the HELL did you get so heavy?!" It seems as though you are expanding by inches overnight. Maybe I fed you too much before bed. Whatever the reason, I just wanted to tell you to SLOW DOWN. This first year of yours? It's going faster than a girl on prom night. I constantly have a camera in your face thinking I'm freezing time, if only by the moment. You don't seem to mind it though. You sure are full of yourself! (And with good reason.)
Other moms have adjusted to motherhood and picked up from where they left off before giving birth. I, on the other hand, have not. I haven't rejoined the "real world" yet. I want to keep you all to myself for as long as possible, hiding out in our sun-filled cave we call a home. Well, I guess I can share you with that Daddy guy. He is, after all, the reason I get to be with you 24/7.
We have lazy days once every couple of weeks, where we do nothing but snuggle in bed, wearing our jammies, toys sprinkled around. Ok, who am I kidding? Maybe it's once A week. Those are my favorite days with you. Daddy is so jealous those days when he's leaving for work. He'd much rather be snuggling and laughing with you too. Unfortunately, somebody's gotta work around here. Sucks for Daddy that he wasn't equipped with boobs!
You're getting too big to fit in the cradle hold and that just makes me want to cry. I am, however, enjoying your hugs while I hold you upright instead. If you stop getting bigger, I'll hold you forever. Promise.
Soon you will be crawling, if not walking, and want to go off on your own, exploring this big, new, interesting world. Just know that Mommy isn't far away, and will ALWAYS pick you up when you fall.
While I'm excited to see you grow, don't be in too much of a hurry, ok?
Love,
Mommy
Ps. Enough with the "Dada's" already! Say it with me, baby: "MA-MA".
Other moms have adjusted to motherhood and picked up from where they left off before giving birth. I, on the other hand, have not. I haven't rejoined the "real world" yet. I want to keep you all to myself for as long as possible, hiding out in our sun-filled cave we call a home. Well, I guess I can share you with that Daddy guy. He is, after all, the reason I get to be with you 24/7.
We have lazy days once every couple of weeks, where we do nothing but snuggle in bed, wearing our jammies, toys sprinkled around. Ok, who am I kidding? Maybe it's once A week. Those are my favorite days with you. Daddy is so jealous those days when he's leaving for work. He'd much rather be snuggling and laughing with you too. Unfortunately, somebody's gotta work around here. Sucks for Daddy that he wasn't equipped with boobs!
You're getting too big to fit in the cradle hold and that just makes me want to cry. I am, however, enjoying your hugs while I hold you upright instead. If you stop getting bigger, I'll hold you forever. Promise.
Soon you will be crawling, if not walking, and want to go off on your own, exploring this big, new, interesting world. Just know that Mommy isn't far away, and will ALWAYS pick you up when you fall.
While I'm excited to see you grow, don't be in too much of a hurry, ok?
Love,
Mommy
Ps. Enough with the "Dada's" already! Say it with me, baby: "MA-MA".
Fun With Finger Feeding
Yesterday:
Did you notice? No, not the scratch on her eye. (I can't seem to keep up with those darn nails!) Yup, you got it. Her finger is really up her nose. Gosh darn it, she was finding a way to eat that puff! And look at the satisfaction:
Today:
She was so PISSED to be left with only a drop of carrot left over when she is clearly suffering from starvation. Then she remembered she could do it herself.
Not quite as easy as a puff, but she'll take it.
Did you notice? No, not the scratch on her eye. (I can't seem to keep up with those darn nails!) Yup, you got it. Her finger is really up her nose. Gosh darn it, she was finding a way to eat that puff! And look at the satisfaction:
Today:
She was so PISSED to be left with only a drop of carrot left over when she is clearly suffering from starvation. Then she remembered she could do it herself.
Not quite as easy as a puff, but she'll take it.
Instincts at Their Best
I think it's pretty safe to say that every woman wonders if she'll know what to do when her baby makes it's debut into this world. Things like, will I know what to do when my baby cries? How will I know what she wants? Will I know when to feed the baby? What about when she's sick? It's not like they can tell you. What if they're too hot? Or too cold? Will breastfeeding be easy? What if I sleep through her crying? Will I know how to soothe her? What if I'm annoying her with my 8,395,651,990 kisses? I could go on.
During my pregnancy, I had enough control to file away the "what if's" of having a newborn and knew nature would guide me. Maternal instincts-isn't that what it's called? I had enough to worry about in the present moment.
Then she was here.
Happy, and healthy, and turning my world upside down. She had no problem letting me know when it was time to eat. That silly little rooting reflex? It's not just cute, there really is a purpose. If you don't catch it in time, you're in for one screaming little alien-face. Speaking of those cries, you learn pretty fast the difference between the "Give me food NOW!" cry and the "MOM! I shit my pants again!" cry. You also spend so much time feeding and changing their diaper, you notice the slightest change of color in their feces and any change in temperament. You even log the number of times in a day you get the pleasure of coming into close contact with said feces. This all helps with knowing if they're sick. If you're still unsure, there's always that pleasant rectal thermometer. I think I was more scared about taking her temperature than giving birth. Then there's breastfeeding. While it may be natural, it is a learned process on both mother and baby's part. Thank goodness Sydney took the reins on that one. Finally, time will allow you get to know your baby. Their likes, dislikes, and how to make everything in their world seem right.
The biggest worry for me was during the night. Many parents fear that the baby will stop breathing in their sleep. It's big enough to drive you insane(if you're not already riding on that train). I could only get through those nights because of my video monitor. Sure, sometimes when she was still for too long I would run in to place my hand on her chest, but at least I felt confident knowing I could hear her cries with that thing on full blast next to my ear.
Fast forward seven months and I laugh at myself for thinking it was even fathomable that I could sleep through the slightest peep. those first couple months, sleep is what you call getting a five minute nap in. There's no way you're getting a deep sleep fix anyway. Nature has programmed women to instantly be filled with anxiety at any sign of distress in your baby. Now that my baby is sleeping through the night, I am sleeping like a rock. And still, when she randomly decides she needs to eat at 3am, I jump up before my eyes even open. I don't even have the monitor volume on anymore. I hear my baby because that's what I am programed to do.
Now if only getting back to my precious sleep was that easy...
During my pregnancy, I had enough control to file away the "what if's" of having a newborn and knew nature would guide me. Maternal instincts-isn't that what it's called? I had enough to worry about in the present moment.
Then she was here.
Happy, and healthy, and turning my world upside down. She had no problem letting me know when it was time to eat. That silly little rooting reflex? It's not just cute, there really is a purpose. If you don't catch it in time, you're in for one screaming little alien-face. Speaking of those cries, you learn pretty fast the difference between the "Give me food NOW!" cry and the "MOM! I shit my pants again!" cry. You also spend so much time feeding and changing their diaper, you notice the slightest change of color in their feces and any change in temperament. You even log the number of times in a day you get the pleasure of coming into close contact with said feces. This all helps with knowing if they're sick. If you're still unsure, there's always that pleasant rectal thermometer. I think I was more scared about taking her temperature than giving birth. Then there's breastfeeding. While it may be natural, it is a learned process on both mother and baby's part. Thank goodness Sydney took the reins on that one. Finally, time will allow you get to know your baby. Their likes, dislikes, and how to make everything in their world seem right.
The biggest worry for me was during the night. Many parents fear that the baby will stop breathing in their sleep. It's big enough to drive you insane(if you're not already riding on that train). I could only get through those nights because of my video monitor. Sure, sometimes when she was still for too long I would run in to place my hand on her chest, but at least I felt confident knowing I could hear her cries with that thing on full blast next to my ear.
Fast forward seven months and I laugh at myself for thinking it was even fathomable that I could sleep through the slightest peep. those first couple months, sleep is what you call getting a five minute nap in. There's no way you're getting a deep sleep fix anyway. Nature has programmed women to instantly be filled with anxiety at any sign of distress in your baby. Now that my baby is sleeping through the night, I am sleeping like a rock. And still, when she randomly decides she needs to eat at 3am, I jump up before my eyes even open. I don't even have the monitor volume on anymore. I hear my baby because that's what I am programed to do.
Now if only getting back to my precious sleep was that easy...
Delectable Digits
Two months ago, Sydney noticed her feet. She'd lean over to watch her toes wiggle. She had a gleam in her eye when she realized she could control them all by her (not so) little self. She got over the excitement fast. Or so I thought. I guess she just figured out not only do they move and look funny, they also taste good. I had a sample myself actually. Mmm, salty and scrumptious. I guess we won't plan any more pedicures in our near future.
Everywhere we go...
People always stop to tell us how cute our baby is. They say how beautiful her big blue eyes are, how happy she is, and lastly, they never forget to mention how "she's not starving". I love getting attention over my baby. Both Jason and I contributed to her looks, my mothering to her happiness, and my successful breastfeeding to her rolls. Funny how my perspective on pretty much everything has changed since having a baby. These days, I'd much rather receive a compliment about my baby than me as an individual. There's much more value in it. I know I'm doing a good job with Sydney and hearing it reinforces my confidence as a mother. Plus, I just love showing her off!
Here is Sydney at the grocery store yesterday:
Here is Sydney at the grocery store yesterday:
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