My First Mother's Day

As I was putting my daughter to bed on this Mother's Day Eve, I sat in the rocking chair and read A Peanut's Christmas (yes I know it's May, don't ask). She glared at the pictures and chimed in with her two cents every now and then. My translation was a bit broken, but I'm pretty sure she has a crush on Woodstock. Afterward, I put her on my chest for her last bedtime snack and fell into a daydream as I stared around her room.

I noticed the imperfections in the paint. Her 3/D ultrasound was so meticulously placed in a special frame from my baby shower. The pillow-like pictures hanging on the wall reminded me of how many times I hammered those nail in, trying to line them up just right. The shelf above the changing table is so organized with diapers and pink piggy banks and bath supplies. I was drawn over to the bookcase by the soft hum of the humidifier and glanced at my Belly Book. When I was pregnant, I was filled with such excitement and anticipation of what was to come. My outlet was creating her nursery. I wanted her room to be perfect. I spent an entire weekend painting those walls by myself, all the time thinking of her playing in there. I sat in the rocker dreaming about holding this baby while she slept. I rearranged her dresser drawers I don't know how many times. Her clothes hung by size in the closet. The valiance above the window was even scrunched just right.

All this "stuff", this unnecessary stuff, has all become so much more since Sydney was born. They are memories from when I was pregnant, and future memories for Sydney. She's changed me so much in the short time she's come into our lives. I still can't believe what a miracle this baby is, and how lucky I am that she's mine. I didn't know my heart would grow so big. I didn't know what a special and selfless life I was now starting.This Mother's Day is now more than a "hallmark" holiday for me. It's about Sydney and how grateful I am. I get to be up 4 times a night. I get to change diapers 63 times a day. I get to calm her when she cries and laugh with her when she smiles. I do laundry every day and clean up her toys. I've turned into an emotional sap. I am so blessed to be her mommy and I wouldn't change a thing!

So, I was finally brought back to reality by the sweetest coo and I starting crying out of love (not the first time) and she looked up at me and just smiled. :o)