Tricks and Treats and Smelly Feets

Last weekend, Jason and I carved the face of The Count (Sesame Street) into a pumpkin for Sydney. We also let Sydney play in the pumpkin guts.



She tried to eat them of course.

Yesterday we tried to get Sydney a costume last minute as Jason was stuck working late all week. The place was cleaned out! I was a bit upset, but at least she had a cute Halloween outfit to wear. Really, she didn't care. All that mattered to her was if she got a piece of that candy that all the other kids were getting.



She really enjoyed all the trick-or-treaters, scary costumes and all! She was yelling and smiling at them. I can't wait for next year!

Return of Fertility

After 18 months on vacation, Aunt Flow has finally returned. It was a good run while it lasted, and while I'm not happy AT ALL about the messy and painful consequences, I am a bit excited knowing I am once again, fertile.

Little Picasso

I decided it was time to break out the paper and share my passion for art with my daughter. Until I get some digestive-friendly mediums, I let Syd use some of my oil pastel crayons (under supervision of course). As expected, her first art lesson was a disaster. What was the lesson, you ask?

"DON'T EAT THE CRAYONS"

Despite the disaster, it wasn't a failure-by any means. She experienced the feel of each crayon in her fingers, saw the beauty of color, and briefly got a taste of the (toxic?) wax. Good thing I'm getting pretty fast at yanking things out of her mouth! I encouraged her to use both her right and left hands. I'm so excited to see if she is going to be a lefty like her momma, but it's way to soon to tell.



We finished the lesson with Sydney on my lap, my hand around hers, and signed her name on, well, a masterpiece.



This is SO going on my refrigerator!

Date Night

Thanks to Nanner Dianer and Pop-Pop, Jason and I enjoyed a much needed date last night. We went to a movie and had dinner afterward at a Mexican restaurant. I'm not sure if it was the margarita or the excitement, but the mariachi band was very entertaining. Their rendition of the Beatles song "All My Loving" was fantastic! They even had a table of ten women up and forming a congo line. We finished the night off by losing at the Roulette table. It was so much fun!

I couldn't wait to get home to my squidward, where she was fast asleep in her crib. I missed her so much!

She had no idea we even left.

Buddha Belly

Tonight Jason and I were laughing over Sydney's (not so) little Buddha belly while giving her a bath. It's adorable and perfect in all it's protruding roundness. I have the selfish pleasure in knowing that it's all because of me. I make the milk that nourishes her. I went through the sore nipples and the horrific engorgement those first couple weeks. I dealt with the sleepless nights from being her sole feeder. I couldn't leave her for more than two hours at a time for months. I spent many, many hours pumping milk I wasn't sure I was ever going to use. Syd has had no bottles, and no pacifiers. I did it for her. I did it for me.

I recently had a dip in my supply and my whole mommy world was turned upside down. I suddenly had to resort to offering Sydney formula one feeding when my frozen breast milk hadn't thawed and she was crying out of hunger. I actually cried over having to give her the formula. She refused it and instead went to sleep on an empty stomach. I called Jason demanding he go to the store that very instant to get me oatmeal and Powerade. I knew I couldn't make enough milk on Ramen noodles and water alone. We were saving our money from Jason's, um, break in employment. I could eat us out of house and home with the calories I need and I think he finally took me serious when he saw the bottle of formula sitting by the rocker.

So I cut out her solids and nursed frequently. I've been eating nonstop. Our fridge looks like a 7-Eleven with all the drinks we have in there. I've also been resting lots and napping when she naps. My milk is back. I will never again whine over the pain of engorgement. I welcome it. I want it. Breast feeding is a privilege, not a sacrifice. And while all the other moms I know are either done or in the process of weaning, I relish in our accomplishment.

Sydney's 17 Smiles

One when she's excited.
One when she sees a camera.
One when she does something new.
One when she's curious.
One when she's content.
One when she thinks you're funny.
One when she likes something.
One when her cheeks are kissed.
One when you ask her if she pooped.
One when she looks at Beaker.
One when she thinks she's cool.
One when she's nursing.
One when she's laughing.
One when she's trying not to laugh.
One when she sees herself.
One to please strangers.

And my favorite-
One when she sees Mommy.

Bad things come in threes?

One: I finally did it. I knew it was coming. I mean, I can't actually have everything come easy, right? Sydney is going to get hurt eventually, right? I can't be a real mom until screw something up, RIGHT?!

Yes. Yes. And YES.

I cut Sydney's poor, little, sweet, innocent, unsuspecting, finger. I made it BLEED. It was purple! I am awful. Good news is, she did fuss but not to the point of tears. She took it like a champ. She even sucked the blood clean off her finger till her purple flesh turned pink again.

Damn it. I thought I had nail clipping down to a science. I think I'm giving this job to Daddy from now on.

Two: Jason was practically T-boned on his way home from work last night. By a drunk driver. It really wasn't that bad. He said the truck didn't even move. But the rear passenger door is now dented. Another thing to fix. Thankfully the baby wasn't in the car and Jason was fine.

So what's next? I think I'm going to hide out for a few days....

8 Months!

I can't believe (yet again) that eight months have gone by. I'm so proud that we are still exclusively breastfeeding with a few solids here and there. I actually gave Sydney a sippy cup of breast milk last week just to see if she would take it. She drank it up like she was a professional. When Syd turned six months, I thought nine months seemed to be a good time to begin the weaning process. Now that it's right around the corner, I'm so not ready! It's good to know she likes her cup though.

Over the weekend, we enjoyed a day a McKee Ranch. There were chickens, goats, and bunnies randomly roaming the place and we got to take home a pumpkin. Sydney seemed to be enjoying herself as she shrieked at the horses and took in the new scenery. I also got some great pictures thanks to an endless supply of haystacks and ranch decor. We even participated in a hay ride around the field. The weather couldn't have been more perfect.

Today Jason started his new job. It's quiet in the house again, but it's nice to get things back to normal. Sydney is going to miss all that time she and her daddy had together these past couple weeks. I know Jason enjoyed being with her.

My posts are not going to be as frequent now that Sydney is moving around more. She's still trying to figure out the crawling thing, but is using a scoot/roll combo to get around now. And of course she wants to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. From the window curtains to the Nintendo controller, she has even tried to pick up a cat hair! Can you imagine? I'm in for lots of fun!

It Takes a Village.

Hello dear daughter. Mommy here. I just wanted to tell you a little about your family. There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, kid, turns out it's just you, me, and Dad. When all the other babies are being oogled over by their uncles and grandparents, you may wonder why you're staring at the same two faces every day. Truth is, we are on our own, 3000 miles away from anyone in your bloodline. Don't fret though, my love, you are adored every day thanks to the internet and your camera crazy mother.

Your Nanner Dianer loves you so much, she has managed to arrange two visits so far, with another one coming next week. Even though you may not get to see her very often, she is very much in the know about your day to day growth and development. Every photographed smile of yours is emailed and every video or yours is viewed daily. She even has a "Sydney shrine"-pictures plastered all over her house. Other family on your Daddy's side include Pop-pop Bill, three uncles, and two boy cousins. You have great aunts and great cousins, and quite the following on this here blog. You may not get to relish in their overwhelming hugs, but you are very much loved.

Mommy's side of the family may seem a little more distant. Simply put, Mommy ventured out on her own at a young age. While you are equally loved by Mommy's aunts and cousins, Grandpa, and Uncle Gary, everyone has their own lives. Maybe one day that will change. And maybe not.

So while it may take a village to raise a child, go easy on Mom and Dad, because we are at it on our own. We are hoping to soon be able to give you a sibling. Someone you can play with, laugh with, and get into trouble with. We are also hoping we don't screw you up too bad in the meantime.

I love you so much, my little pumpkin face.

Love,
Mommy

Return of Engorgement

When my baby first started sleeping through the night, I was still waking from engorgement. If the pain didn't wake me, my soaked everything would. I even had to change the sheets one time it was so bad. As time went by, mother nature stepped in and my milk supply adjusted. I began blissfully sleeping through the night just like my little darling. I even got to put away my breast pump, which I've nicknamed Medela Moo Monster. I sure don't miss that thing sucking the life out of me!

Then came the sleep regression.

We've been lucky so far. Through all the milestones Sydney's been accomplishing, her sleeping habits remained predictable and reliable. This crawling milestone, however, it must be a doozy because she has been waking up in the middle of the night again. She practices trying to crawl and when she get's tired, starts screaming for my boob. Hey, don't you need some water when you're working out? While I really can't complain because at least it's only once during the night, I definitely can complain about the return of my engorgement. The last two nights she didn't request my assistance and there I was again, porn star boobies and a bed full of milk. Sigh. Not looking forward to meeting with Medela Moo Monster before my morning coffee again. Let's hope mother nature steps in, quickly, and helps me out!

Separation Anxiety

Am I the only mom who has worse separation anxiety than their baby? I'm not talking about having a guilt trip for leaving her or worrying about her daddy taking care of her. It's just, there's nothing I could possibly be doing that's more important than being with Sydney. Nothing. I actually feel slightly depressed while I'm away from her. Other moms tell me how even though they love their children, they need time away from being a mommy. I just don't get it. Do I need sleep? Yes. Do I need dates with her Daddy? Absolutely. Do I need to keep doing things I love so I don't lose my sense of self? You bet! But I do not need time away from being a mommy. I just don't get it. Do you know how fast Sydney is growing?! Maybe it takes a few years (and gray hairs) to understand.

Today I was leaving the house for only two hours, and I literally had tears in my eyes when I put her down for her nap. I hugged her extra long and she laughed at me. The little stinker laughed at me! I thought about her the entire time, and found it hard to enjoy myself. When I returned home, I didn't even get the door open all the way before yelling, "MOMMY'S HOME!". Sydney put her arms up for me and and giggled the most beautiful laugh I've never heard. I practically melted in my flip flops.

Every moment of every day, my heart grows larger because of her.

Cupcake Junkie

Sydney and I made Halloween cupcakes last night!

(Ok, I made them, but she handled the taste test.)




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For one mommy who is so cautious with her baby, I almost can't believe I actually let her dig in to one. But it was so much fun! We began this project shortly before bath time because I knew what kind of mess I was in for. What I failed to anticipate, however, was the consequences of giving sugar to a child before bedtime. She was all cracked out, so to speak. There was lots of smiling, giggling, and joyous shrieking. It was, well, it was fantastic!

We winded down with Where The Wild Things Are and she fell fast asleep in my arms as she nursed. Maybe she crashed from the sugar high, maybe she crashed from all that fun. Either way, she crashed with a smile on her face.

This morning I wanted to get a picture of Sydney with the finished product because she looked so darn cute in her Halloween jammies. She almost jumped right out of my arms at the first glance of that orange and black sprinkled goodness.



It is the best feeling in the world putting joy on the face of your child.

Welcome, Fall!

The desert heat has finally subsided a bit. The breeze is cool and I can now enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face. What I'm most excited for, is being able to take my daughter outside to play. No more worries about heat rash and dehydration. For me, the seldom scorched behind from shaded benches (that I thought were safe) was enough to surface my resentment for the summer. Aside from the occasional wind storms, this is my favorite time of the year here. Too bad it doesn't last long! The winter season will arrive soon enough and I'll be missing my days at the pool, I'm sure.

We took Syd to the playground yesterday for the first time. While she's still too fragile to enjoy the slide, we took advantage of the colorful metal and got some great photos. She was a little bothered by the glare but otherwise curious. Sydney's cool jeans made her look like such a big girl. Maybe it was her kicks or her hooded zip-up shirt. Maybe it was all of those things. She's starting to look like a little person, no longer a baby. A little person who no longer wants to sit still and quietly play. She wants to explore, with both getting around and talking. She has likes and dislikes and is not shy letting us know. She's such a happy little girl and she's thriving. She'll always be my baby though-no matter how much she grows up.

Rebuttals by Jason

Jason's corner is finally up and running. You will find it through the "rebuttals" link along the top of this page.

Before he get's the chance to "stick it to me", I thought I should divulge some information. Oh boy! I get to make a list! Let's do a top ten:

Why I Could Be Deemed Crazy
1. I am anal about everything.
2. I YELL at Jason, often, for things like leaving socks on the floor.
3. I will leave dishes in the sink for three days out of spite.
4. I say hurtful things when I reach my boiling point.
5. Instead of waiting ten minutes for Jason to do things, I do them myself and then bitch about it.
6. I like to spend Jason's money when I'm angry with him.
7. Slamming doors makes me feel better.
8. Fine is not acceptable. I want perfect, or at least damn near close to it.
9. I make my OCD problems his problems, then wonder why he doesn't give a shit.
10. I'm in love with Jason. (I MUST be crazy.)

DARN YOU, CARPET!

Sydney has finally begun trying to crawl! I don't know why I'm acting like she's behind.It's normal for babies not to start until ten months. Some never even hit this milestone and go right on to walking! Silly me. It's just so exciting! And how awesome is it I had my camera nearby to capture this incredible moment?

And why did no one warn me about rug burn? I know what you're thinking. Common sense, right? Meh. This poor girl is covered from cheek to shin. Sure I can put pants on this kid, but what do I do about her arms? Saran wrap them? Do I put gloves on her hands? It's still summer in this flippin desert! What about those precious cheeks? And that cute, perfect little button nose. She looks like Rudolph.

DARN YOU, CARPET!

Hello October!

I woke up this morning filled with so much excitement, I almost burst! I couldn't wait to put Sydney in her Halloween outfit. I knew it would be fun living out my childhood joys again, but HOLY-MOLY THIS IS FUN! The best is yet to come, I'm sure, but we're off to a really good start!



Later on in the day, we went to Jason's softball game as a family. Sydney loves going, but usually the games are scheduled too late so it was a treat. Everyone commented on how cute she looked (OF COURSE!). We even got a good laugh when I was nursing as Jason yelled "Anyone that wants to see my girlfriend's boobs look over here!". Very funny. I can't tell you how many heads turned. I think it was the first time I've ever felt embarrassed nursing in public. It's not like you could see anything as I am very discreet, but I'm not a fan of being the center of attention. I'll have to admit I laughed too because it was in good humor. I guess it's official that Jason is finally over thinking I should feed my baby in a bathroom. Good to know!

Sydney was very well behaved for being out past her bedtime. That is until our ride home. We were stopped in traffic when she started screaming her little head off. I climbed in the back seat to comfort her. Nothing was calming her down. It's not like I could take her out of her carseat. We couldn't pull over and it was taking forever to get home. When she began expelling snot from her nose from being so worked up, I whipped out my boob and leaned over. All I can say is good thing we have tinted windows! The things we do for our children...