First Sick Doc Visit

Luckily Sydney isn't sick, but she has a pretty nasty fungal infection in her diaper area. Nothing a little medicine can't fix! I was starting to think we'd make it a full year without any surprise visits to the docs. Hopefully it will be the last for her first year of life. I can't believe her birthday is only a little over a month away!

Holly Jolly Christmas

It's two days after Christmas and we're still feeling the jollies around the Haines household. We had such a wonderful Christmas. There were LOTS of presents for Sydney and we video taped her opening each one. She actually played with her toys instead of the wrapping. After a fun morning, we attempted going to see the new Sherlock Homes movie, but it was too crowded. We ended up seeing A Christmas Carol instead. A bit of a disappointment but festive nonetheless. Syd was great. It was her first time at the theater. Nursing sure helped a lot. We finished our day having Chinese food at a restaurant and headed home to watch the last showing of A Christmas Story after putting Syd to sleep. She truly seemed to enjoy the day as much as we did.

I can't imagine another Christmas will be as sweet as this one.

Her opening presents:


Taking her first steps without Mommy:


At dinner:



Relaxing before bed:


And finally a successful attempt at Sherlock Homes yesterday:

T'was the Night Before Christmas

My house is glowing with the lights of our tree-our first Christmas tree as a family of three. The smell of ham and sweet potato souffle fills our home and our bellies as we relax to the A Christmas Story marathon. Sydney is asleep in her special Christmas jammies, hopefully with visions of sugar plums dancing in her head.

I'm so excited for morning, to watch her open her presents. Ok, so it will more than likely be ME opening her presents, and her assisting in the shredding of holiday wrapping paper. Either way, tomorrow is for her. The gifts, surprises, and smiles. All for my Sydney.

We are also planning on going to a movie and eating Chinese food, the start of a new family tradition. OUR family tradition. I am bursting with happiness tonight. How will I ever sleep?

Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!

Baking Cookies

Sydney and I baked Christmas cookies today! It was so much fun and I even let Syd taste one sans icing. She loved it of course. Every time we do an activity together I can't help but smile till my teeth hurt. To share a childhood joy of mine, especially when I had so few, makes feel like such a good mom. Baking cookies. Making ornaments. Listening to holiday tunes while dancing around the living room. It's the little things that make the best memories. I know Sydney won't remember her first Christmas, but this one is already becoming best Christmas *I* ever had.

Cutting Teeth

I can't believe Sydney now has five teeth! She went from three to five overnight! She looks very silly with the three on top. Nursing was no problem with the first top tooth, but three of those sharp little suckers causes a bit of discomfort now. As long as Syd refrains from biting me, I think we'll be just fine! The only other side effect we're dealing with is the sleep interruptions from her pain. After the two cut through yesterday, she only woke once last night. I guess a 4am comfort session isn't too bad. It certainly is better than 11:30 and 3am! My poor baby.

Adventures in Crawling

December 10, 2009
I caved in and opened the box to one of Sydney's Christmas presents-her Leapfrog musical table. I hadn't set that thing down for more than two seconds and Syd decided she suddenly knew how to crawl and excitedly moved toward it. She was on the move and I almost burst into tears of joy. But the tears were inevitable when less than ten minutes later, she crawled right into my arms and pulled up for a hug. THAT was amazing.

December 11, 2009
Sydney has been rolling around for a while now to get where she wants to go, but there's something different about crawling. It's almost like she turned into a toddler overnight. I watch her crawl to her toys, pick one out to play with, then move on to another. She has more control on what she wants to do and where she wants to go. It's incredible to watch.

December 12, 2009
It's all over now. I had my back to Sydney for seven seconds vacuuming by the couch, and when I turned around-she had the cord IN HER MOUTH. Can you say "heart attack"? She chased the cord as I quickly wrapped it up, and then moved on to chasing the cat. Beaker has no idea what he's in for. For MONTHS he's been the antagonist, and now he's no longer untouchable. RUN BEAKER. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Loving My Sydney

I spent an entire 45 minutes today snuggling with Sydney. She nursed, blew raspberries, and made me smell her feet. There is nothing else I'd rather be doing.

Syd Meets Santa

We went to the Magical Forest tonight so Syd could sit on Santa's lap. It was exciting wondering if she was going to cry or pull his beard. Well, she could care less about Santa. She was more interested in the stuffed reindeer that the photographer had. She smiled at the sound of it's bells. Pictures were taken and that was that. We enjoyed a long stroll through the many, many beautifully lit "trees" and displays. We sipped hot chocolate and took Syd on a fun train ride through the forest. We even took her for a cruise around the carousel, on her very own horse! It was pretty cold out but she hung in there and was so well behaved. I was beyond excited to take Sydney here tonight. To see the glow of the holiday lights in her eyes. To watch her laugh and squirm. She truly enjoyed herself. It was everything I anticipated and so much more!

Eye Gah!

Beaker came into Sydney's view this morning and she screamed, "Eye Gah!". This is baby for "Hi Cat!". I'm so proud!

4am Moonlight

It was 4am when we woke to the cry of our baby girl. It was clear she was not going to fall back to sleep on her own, so Daddy went in for the rescue. He changed her diaper and rocked her softly as her cries grew louder. I hear him say, "Let's go see if mommy wants to give you a snack." They entered our room and the crying ceased. She wanted her mommy, and her mommy's sweet milk. Her eye lids grew heavy as she nursed and I admired the glow of her hair in the moonlight. We laid there belly to belly after her feeding, and I couldn't take my eyes off her sweet face. She's so beautiful. So mine.

Sydney's eyes flew open when Beaker appeared, meowing for attention. She was happy to give it. We spent a good 15 minutes laughing and talking as Jason was trying to sleep next to us. Oops. I couldn't help myself! He gave up and turned over to watch his daughter laugh. I continued to tickle her, and kiss her soft cheeks, and play. It was one of those moments where the rules had to be broken. One of those moments in life where everything seems right and nothing could be better. Elation escalated with every heartbeat. It was PURE. BLISS.

Baby's Got Tricks

I have taught Sydney to touch her tongue to her chin in hopes that it will avoid choking in the future. She's such a smart little girl! Not to mention how funny it looks....

Another tooth!

Sydney's third tooth cut through today! Looks like she has 3 more on her way, bottom two and the second top. She was acting normal this time, which I was very happy about. No cranky baby for this mommy!

Your First Thanksgiving

Yesterday was your very first Thanksgiving, Sydney. You enjoyed herb roasted turkey breast with pan gravy, autumn potato gratin, apple and onion stuffin' muffins, pumpkin soup with chili cran-apple relish, and green beans with apple cider, crescent rolls, and cranberry sauce-all made by Mommy. It was the very first Thanksgiving that Mommy ever cooked for. I was very excited to do this for you, and to start this family tradition. Daddy even helped chop the onions and apples. We had the best day with you and look forward to many more yummy days to come!

Playdates and Christmas Crafts

Today was an exciting day for Sydney. She had TWO babies to play with! A couple of my girlfriends came over for a visit with their daughters, who are close in age with Sydney. It's not often we get to do that and I enjoy the playdates just as much as Syd does. While the babies napped, the adults got crafty painting glass Christmas balls.

This was mine:


Later on, we also did a photo shoot with one of the girls, Isabella.



I really wish Gymboree would lower their prices as Syd would really enjoy the interaction. She is very selfless with her toys, very friendly, and loves the action.

9 Month Well Check-up

Syd had her nine month check-up today and everything went great. Well, almost. Jason had forgotten to put the stroller in the car (yes, totally not MY fault...) so I had to carry Syd on my hip across a parking garage, down a flight of stairs, through the medical building, up an elevator, and down a hall. I was also carrying a bag on the bend of my opposite arm. Needless to say, I thought my arms were going to fall off. Upon arrival, I set Sydney on the floor of the doctor's office so I could sign in. I wasn't even finished when we were called in and I scooped her up and off we went. While in the exam room, my germophobic pediatrician walks in and says hi. The second thing he says is, "Let me get you (addressing Sydney) a wipe for your hands because I saw you sitting on the floor out there."

How horrible did I feel? Whatever.

He went about his usual tummy squeezing exams while I asked my questions. He discovered her first top tooth was about to break through-news to me! I hadn't noticed. Oops! Apparently, I also give Sydney a lot of orange foods and her nose has the color to prove it. Her skin is really dry too and after telling him I lotion her up all the time, he told me to lotion her up all the time.



I declined the flu shots and that was pretty much it. She's a picture of perfect health. She weighed in at 17lbs, 11oz, 26" long. We have less than three months till her one year check-up! Hopefully we can keep up the breastfeeding through flu season and also so I can begin weaning her to whole milk at one year, avoiding formula all together. I was advised not to give her milk any earlier. It will be quite the accomplishment to make it that far. I'm very proud of myself for sticking it through the hard times of nursing so my baby could reap the benefits. I can't believe my little pumpkin face is almost to her first birthday already!

Baby Plates

We decided to go have dessert at the Cheesecake Factory last night and were pleasantly surprised with a complimentary baby plate of breads and the cutest little banana slices. Sydney was obviously thrilled as we were approached by strangers on how well behaved (and cute) she was.







This wasn't the first time a restaurant catered to our comfort when it comes to dining with a baby. It definitely makes the experience more enjoyable when Sydney can join in on the action. We don't get to do it that often, but when we do it's nice.

Clapping

Less than one week ago (the 14th to be exact) Sydney started clapping. I can't begin to explain what an adorable sight that was!

Friday the 13th

Happy 9 month birthday Squidward!

You were born on a Friday the 13th, so today is extra special. Despite many people's superstitions, Friday the 13th will forever be a lucky day for me. You are 3/4 of the way to your first birthday and we are very excited about that. It is bittersweet though. Your personality has really bloomed over the past three months. You are silly, and sweet, and extremely focused. You now know who Mommy and Daddy are by name. You are working on calling Beaker "Cat". You have no desire to crawl, but get around by rolling. You practice talking in your crib. You love playing Peek-A-Boo. You have learned to point, and prefer using this skill when it comes to wanting my breasts. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't make me laugh.

Yesterday, I decided it was time to cut nursing out of your sleep routines. We still nursed, but it was done ahead of time. You did fantastic with the adjustment, as you always do to change. You instead get to snuggle up with your dolly for comfort. There is no crying for mommy and no protests to sleeping. I have done my very best since day one to be attentive to your needs, shower you with love and affection, and always keep you safe. While I consider all the books and your pediatrician, I have made all my parenting decisions by looking for what's best for you as an individual, and what's best for you in the long run-even if it means letting go of your newbornness. Yes that's a word. It may not be in the dictionary, but it's MY word. I wish I could cradle you in my arms forever. I wish you would always look to me for comfort. I wish you would always be tiny and cuddly and innocent. I realistically know this is not the case. You get bigger by the hour. You push away from me when you want to be by yourself. You don't need me like you used to. I know you must explore your independence and learn from your own mistakes to grow. I will give you the opportunities-just don't be in a hurry, ok?

I love you, sweet baby. Always.

Footed Pajamas

There is something about footed pajamas that just oozes the essence of childhood. Maybe it's the look of cozy cotton prints draped over protruding little bellies. Maybe it's the distant memory of snuggling up with my favorite stuffed animal at bedtime wearing them. Maybe it's because the first thing that comes to mind ISN'T a six foot MAN sporting Ariel from head to toe.

There have been many moments where I just look at Sydney and feel like I've been smacked right in the face with cuteness. Too many to count actually, but many of those moments happen on the nights she doesn't take a bath. I get her dressed for bed and we play on a big comfy blanket and wait for her daddy to come home. Then I watch them play together. She laughs and calls him Dada. She rolls around and grabs his face. He scoops her up high for a thrilling game of airplane.



I wish I could remember moments like these with my father, but I don't. I'll just have to relive them through my daughter. She lights up in her daddy's presence like I used to with mine. I feel so blessed to have found such a worthy man to parent Sydney with. She is one lucky little girl.

In Context

This afternoon, Sydney woke up from her nap and yelled, "Mama!" I opened her door and her hands went crazy as she looked at me, smile on her face, and she said once again, "Mama." I gave her the biggest hug when I scooped her up. She made my day.

5pm rolled around (aka the witching hour) and my sleepy baby started whining, arms reaching out for me, and she cried, "Mama!" I picked her up for a snuggle and a walk around the living room and she's soothed.

6pm and Jason came home from work. He ate yummy baked beans in front of Sydney as she stared at him and yelled, "Dada!" He gave her a taste and she smiled with satisfaction. A communication barrier is broken. She was pleased.

After her second dinner of the night, she enjoyed an hour of playtime with Jason, frequently taking a break to look up at him and say "Dada." I don't know what was more beautiful, hearing her say her Daddy's name, or seeing her Daddy's face as she said it.

Ever since Sydney was born, Jason and I were in competition over what her first word would be. We were convinced it was going to be Mama or Dada. Each of us were convince it was going to be them. I'm not sure what the odds were of having her first two words happen in the same day, and be THOSE words in context, but it was pretty incredible.

I love my family.

Pumpkin Face,

Tonight you copied Daddy when he touched your nose by touching his. After my heart melted into a puddle of love, I realized I should grab my camera to capture this AMAZING moment. I captured two more pokes before you followed with a sweet, darling repetition of Mama and Dada's.

It's been almost three hours since then and I STILL can't wipe this smile off my face. Every day we spend together, you do something that makes me so proud to be your mommy. Whether it's just a few extra smiles or reaching a new milestone, I treasure these moments. I wish I could bottle the bursts of excitement and awe and love I feel for you. This way, when you are having a bad day or ever feel any doubt, you can rest assured no matter how big or small your accomplishments-I have always been proud of you.

Love,
Mommy

Cheese, Spills, and Birthday Parties

Sydney seems to be growing with every blink of my eyes. That's WAY too fast if you ask me. It hit me today that her first birthday is only three months away. Instead of getting teary-eyed, I decided I would get excited. I began my search for her birthday party theme and instantly fell in love with the Baby Einstein idea. I know it's not original, but I have many years ahead of me filled with pink princesses and pretty fairies. Maybe next year she'll want Micky Mouse. Maybe in five years she'll want G.I. Joe. Right now she likes Baby Einstein, and besides, how awesome will it be to make a bright and complicated caterpillar cake? Pretty freakin awesome. I'm going to make a huge caterpillar cake, for three people. Anything for THIS baby!

Now for some parenting woes. I'm having an interesting challenge drawing the line between letting Sydney become independent and being cautious. I allow her to stand against the couch because she likes it. You've seen the pictures. I'm always in an arms reach and she is never interested in trying to take any nose dives. Duh. Of course that would change. Silly me. I look down at my camera for one second today and she goes head first into her METAL jumper. Two minutes of screaming and a fashionable bruise later, I feel like a bad mom. I know it won't be the last bruise she gets, but I hope at least the next one isn't from my stupidity. Mental note: one second is all it takes.

So after Sydney's nap this afternoon, I decided some cheese and bread would be a nice surprise snack for her, especially since I failed to catch her earlier. She loved it of course. I'm beginning to wonder if there is any food this kid DOESN'T like? Since she's doing so well with table foods, I think tomorrow we'll try a steamed medley of carrots, peas, and corn. Cooked pasta sounds like a winner too. We shall see!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Wait, did I just call my baby a monkey? Oh well...

Sydney started mimicking me! Not only is it funny, but it's quite the milestone. She understands! It started yesterday when she clicked her tongue against her teeth. All day I'd start it, and she'd copy. She also copied me when I said dada (but that she's been doing). Today I was trying to get her to clap. She didn't go for it, but when I put a block in each hand and clanked them together, she followed! The best part is how happy she was over herself. I can't wait to play with her again tomorrow!

A Big Girl Moment

Sundays lately have been a day where Jason and Sydney spend quality time together, playing and of course watching football. It's a lazy day where we lounge in our jammies, and watch tv all day-even Syd. I don't think babies this young should be watching tv, but times like these (daddy-daughter time) don't bother me one bit.

Tonight, Jason made a delicious dinner for us while watching the World Series and I decided it was time Sydney got in on the action. So we sat her next to us on the couch, Boppy hugging her securely, with the intention that I would give her a taste of a real dinner off her very own baby spoon. I gathered her itty-bitty bite-sized pieces of chicken, steamed broccoli, and rice, and put them in her own little bowl. She took one bite off the spoon and decided she didn't want my help. I had to lay a towel down over her lap, hand over the bowl, and let her at it.



It was a moment of her independence, and a moment of me letting go. I know this is so minor an accomplishment compared to those that are coming, but it was major to me.

Sniff, sniff. My little girl is growing up...

Daylight Savings

I've been dreading turning the clocks back for quite some time now. I worry about the dumbest things sometimes, I swear! I was worried how Sydney would adjust, and selfishly, if I would be stuck waking up an hour earlier for a week. Well today she slept till 8am. That's exactly an hour PAST her normal wake up time. Sweet, huh? So her naps were all on schedule according to the new time. Bedtime is coming up and I'm not expecting a challenge. Do I really have the easiest baby, or what?

Tricks and Treats and Smelly Feets

Last weekend, Jason and I carved the face of The Count (Sesame Street) into a pumpkin for Sydney. We also let Sydney play in the pumpkin guts.



She tried to eat them of course.

Yesterday we tried to get Sydney a costume last minute as Jason was stuck working late all week. The place was cleaned out! I was a bit upset, but at least she had a cute Halloween outfit to wear. Really, she didn't care. All that mattered to her was if she got a piece of that candy that all the other kids were getting.



She really enjoyed all the trick-or-treaters, scary costumes and all! She was yelling and smiling at them. I can't wait for next year!

Return of Fertility

After 18 months on vacation, Aunt Flow has finally returned. It was a good run while it lasted, and while I'm not happy AT ALL about the messy and painful consequences, I am a bit excited knowing I am once again, fertile.

Little Picasso

I decided it was time to break out the paper and share my passion for art with my daughter. Until I get some digestive-friendly mediums, I let Syd use some of my oil pastel crayons (under supervision of course). As expected, her first art lesson was a disaster. What was the lesson, you ask?

"DON'T EAT THE CRAYONS"

Despite the disaster, it wasn't a failure-by any means. She experienced the feel of each crayon in her fingers, saw the beauty of color, and briefly got a taste of the (toxic?) wax. Good thing I'm getting pretty fast at yanking things out of her mouth! I encouraged her to use both her right and left hands. I'm so excited to see if she is going to be a lefty like her momma, but it's way to soon to tell.



We finished the lesson with Sydney on my lap, my hand around hers, and signed her name on, well, a masterpiece.



This is SO going on my refrigerator!

Date Night

Thanks to Nanner Dianer and Pop-Pop, Jason and I enjoyed a much needed date last night. We went to a movie and had dinner afterward at a Mexican restaurant. I'm not sure if it was the margarita or the excitement, but the mariachi band was very entertaining. Their rendition of the Beatles song "All My Loving" was fantastic! They even had a table of ten women up and forming a congo line. We finished the night off by losing at the Roulette table. It was so much fun!

I couldn't wait to get home to my squidward, where she was fast asleep in her crib. I missed her so much!

She had no idea we even left.

Buddha Belly

Tonight Jason and I were laughing over Sydney's (not so) little Buddha belly while giving her a bath. It's adorable and perfect in all it's protruding roundness. I have the selfish pleasure in knowing that it's all because of me. I make the milk that nourishes her. I went through the sore nipples and the horrific engorgement those first couple weeks. I dealt with the sleepless nights from being her sole feeder. I couldn't leave her for more than two hours at a time for months. I spent many, many hours pumping milk I wasn't sure I was ever going to use. Syd has had no bottles, and no pacifiers. I did it for her. I did it for me.

I recently had a dip in my supply and my whole mommy world was turned upside down. I suddenly had to resort to offering Sydney formula one feeding when my frozen breast milk hadn't thawed and she was crying out of hunger. I actually cried over having to give her the formula. She refused it and instead went to sleep on an empty stomach. I called Jason demanding he go to the store that very instant to get me oatmeal and Powerade. I knew I couldn't make enough milk on Ramen noodles and water alone. We were saving our money from Jason's, um, break in employment. I could eat us out of house and home with the calories I need and I think he finally took me serious when he saw the bottle of formula sitting by the rocker.

So I cut out her solids and nursed frequently. I've been eating nonstop. Our fridge looks like a 7-Eleven with all the drinks we have in there. I've also been resting lots and napping when she naps. My milk is back. I will never again whine over the pain of engorgement. I welcome it. I want it. Breast feeding is a privilege, not a sacrifice. And while all the other moms I know are either done or in the process of weaning, I relish in our accomplishment.

Sydney's 17 Smiles

One when she's excited.
One when she sees a camera.
One when she does something new.
One when she's curious.
One when she's content.
One when she thinks you're funny.
One when she likes something.
One when her cheeks are kissed.
One when you ask her if she pooped.
One when she looks at Beaker.
One when she thinks she's cool.
One when she's nursing.
One when she's laughing.
One when she's trying not to laugh.
One when she sees herself.
One to please strangers.

And my favorite-
One when she sees Mommy.

Bad things come in threes?

One: I finally did it. I knew it was coming. I mean, I can't actually have everything come easy, right? Sydney is going to get hurt eventually, right? I can't be a real mom until screw something up, RIGHT?!

Yes. Yes. And YES.

I cut Sydney's poor, little, sweet, innocent, unsuspecting, finger. I made it BLEED. It was purple! I am awful. Good news is, she did fuss but not to the point of tears. She took it like a champ. She even sucked the blood clean off her finger till her purple flesh turned pink again.

Damn it. I thought I had nail clipping down to a science. I think I'm giving this job to Daddy from now on.

Two: Jason was practically T-boned on his way home from work last night. By a drunk driver. It really wasn't that bad. He said the truck didn't even move. But the rear passenger door is now dented. Another thing to fix. Thankfully the baby wasn't in the car and Jason was fine.

So what's next? I think I'm going to hide out for a few days....

8 Months!

I can't believe (yet again) that eight months have gone by. I'm so proud that we are still exclusively breastfeeding with a few solids here and there. I actually gave Sydney a sippy cup of breast milk last week just to see if she would take it. She drank it up like she was a professional. When Syd turned six months, I thought nine months seemed to be a good time to begin the weaning process. Now that it's right around the corner, I'm so not ready! It's good to know she likes her cup though.

Over the weekend, we enjoyed a day a McKee Ranch. There were chickens, goats, and bunnies randomly roaming the place and we got to take home a pumpkin. Sydney seemed to be enjoying herself as she shrieked at the horses and took in the new scenery. I also got some great pictures thanks to an endless supply of haystacks and ranch decor. We even participated in a hay ride around the field. The weather couldn't have been more perfect.

Today Jason started his new job. It's quiet in the house again, but it's nice to get things back to normal. Sydney is going to miss all that time she and her daddy had together these past couple weeks. I know Jason enjoyed being with her.

My posts are not going to be as frequent now that Sydney is moving around more. She's still trying to figure out the crawling thing, but is using a scoot/roll combo to get around now. And of course she wants to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. From the window curtains to the Nintendo controller, she has even tried to pick up a cat hair! Can you imagine? I'm in for lots of fun!

It Takes a Village.

Hello dear daughter. Mommy here. I just wanted to tell you a little about your family. There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, kid, turns out it's just you, me, and Dad. When all the other babies are being oogled over by their uncles and grandparents, you may wonder why you're staring at the same two faces every day. Truth is, we are on our own, 3000 miles away from anyone in your bloodline. Don't fret though, my love, you are adored every day thanks to the internet and your camera crazy mother.

Your Nanner Dianer loves you so much, she has managed to arrange two visits so far, with another one coming next week. Even though you may not get to see her very often, she is very much in the know about your day to day growth and development. Every photographed smile of yours is emailed and every video or yours is viewed daily. She even has a "Sydney shrine"-pictures plastered all over her house. Other family on your Daddy's side include Pop-pop Bill, three uncles, and two boy cousins. You have great aunts and great cousins, and quite the following on this here blog. You may not get to relish in their overwhelming hugs, but you are very much loved.

Mommy's side of the family may seem a little more distant. Simply put, Mommy ventured out on her own at a young age. While you are equally loved by Mommy's aunts and cousins, Grandpa, and Uncle Gary, everyone has their own lives. Maybe one day that will change. And maybe not.

So while it may take a village to raise a child, go easy on Mom and Dad, because we are at it on our own. We are hoping to soon be able to give you a sibling. Someone you can play with, laugh with, and get into trouble with. We are also hoping we don't screw you up too bad in the meantime.

I love you so much, my little pumpkin face.

Love,
Mommy

Return of Engorgement

When my baby first started sleeping through the night, I was still waking from engorgement. If the pain didn't wake me, my soaked everything would. I even had to change the sheets one time it was so bad. As time went by, mother nature stepped in and my milk supply adjusted. I began blissfully sleeping through the night just like my little darling. I even got to put away my breast pump, which I've nicknamed Medela Moo Monster. I sure don't miss that thing sucking the life out of me!

Then came the sleep regression.

We've been lucky so far. Through all the milestones Sydney's been accomplishing, her sleeping habits remained predictable and reliable. This crawling milestone, however, it must be a doozy because she has been waking up in the middle of the night again. She practices trying to crawl and when she get's tired, starts screaming for my boob. Hey, don't you need some water when you're working out? While I really can't complain because at least it's only once during the night, I definitely can complain about the return of my engorgement. The last two nights she didn't request my assistance and there I was again, porn star boobies and a bed full of milk. Sigh. Not looking forward to meeting with Medela Moo Monster before my morning coffee again. Let's hope mother nature steps in, quickly, and helps me out!

Separation Anxiety

Am I the only mom who has worse separation anxiety than their baby? I'm not talking about having a guilt trip for leaving her or worrying about her daddy taking care of her. It's just, there's nothing I could possibly be doing that's more important than being with Sydney. Nothing. I actually feel slightly depressed while I'm away from her. Other moms tell me how even though they love their children, they need time away from being a mommy. I just don't get it. Do I need sleep? Yes. Do I need dates with her Daddy? Absolutely. Do I need to keep doing things I love so I don't lose my sense of self? You bet! But I do not need time away from being a mommy. I just don't get it. Do you know how fast Sydney is growing?! Maybe it takes a few years (and gray hairs) to understand.

Today I was leaving the house for only two hours, and I literally had tears in my eyes when I put her down for her nap. I hugged her extra long and she laughed at me. The little stinker laughed at me! I thought about her the entire time, and found it hard to enjoy myself. When I returned home, I didn't even get the door open all the way before yelling, "MOMMY'S HOME!". Sydney put her arms up for me and and giggled the most beautiful laugh I've never heard. I practically melted in my flip flops.

Every moment of every day, my heart grows larger because of her.

Cupcake Junkie

Sydney and I made Halloween cupcakes last night!

(Ok, I made them, but she handled the taste test.)




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For one mommy who is so cautious with her baby, I almost can't believe I actually let her dig in to one. But it was so much fun! We began this project shortly before bath time because I knew what kind of mess I was in for. What I failed to anticipate, however, was the consequences of giving sugar to a child before bedtime. She was all cracked out, so to speak. There was lots of smiling, giggling, and joyous shrieking. It was, well, it was fantastic!

We winded down with Where The Wild Things Are and she fell fast asleep in my arms as she nursed. Maybe she crashed from the sugar high, maybe she crashed from all that fun. Either way, she crashed with a smile on her face.

This morning I wanted to get a picture of Sydney with the finished product because she looked so darn cute in her Halloween jammies. She almost jumped right out of my arms at the first glance of that orange and black sprinkled goodness.



It is the best feeling in the world putting joy on the face of your child.

Welcome, Fall!

The desert heat has finally subsided a bit. The breeze is cool and I can now enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face. What I'm most excited for, is being able to take my daughter outside to play. No more worries about heat rash and dehydration. For me, the seldom scorched behind from shaded benches (that I thought were safe) was enough to surface my resentment for the summer. Aside from the occasional wind storms, this is my favorite time of the year here. Too bad it doesn't last long! The winter season will arrive soon enough and I'll be missing my days at the pool, I'm sure.

We took Syd to the playground yesterday for the first time. While she's still too fragile to enjoy the slide, we took advantage of the colorful metal and got some great photos. She was a little bothered by the glare but otherwise curious. Sydney's cool jeans made her look like such a big girl. Maybe it was her kicks or her hooded zip-up shirt. Maybe it was all of those things. She's starting to look like a little person, no longer a baby. A little person who no longer wants to sit still and quietly play. She wants to explore, with both getting around and talking. She has likes and dislikes and is not shy letting us know. She's such a happy little girl and she's thriving. She'll always be my baby though-no matter how much she grows up.

Rebuttals by Jason

Jason's corner is finally up and running. You will find it through the "rebuttals" link along the top of this page.

Before he get's the chance to "stick it to me", I thought I should divulge some information. Oh boy! I get to make a list! Let's do a top ten:

Why I Could Be Deemed Crazy
1. I am anal about everything.
2. I YELL at Jason, often, for things like leaving socks on the floor.
3. I will leave dishes in the sink for three days out of spite.
4. I say hurtful things when I reach my boiling point.
5. Instead of waiting ten minutes for Jason to do things, I do them myself and then bitch about it.
6. I like to spend Jason's money when I'm angry with him.
7. Slamming doors makes me feel better.
8. Fine is not acceptable. I want perfect, or at least damn near close to it.
9. I make my OCD problems his problems, then wonder why he doesn't give a shit.
10. I'm in love with Jason. (I MUST be crazy.)

DARN YOU, CARPET!

Sydney has finally begun trying to crawl! I don't know why I'm acting like she's behind.It's normal for babies not to start until ten months. Some never even hit this milestone and go right on to walking! Silly me. It's just so exciting! And how awesome is it I had my camera nearby to capture this incredible moment?

And why did no one warn me about rug burn? I know what you're thinking. Common sense, right? Meh. This poor girl is covered from cheek to shin. Sure I can put pants on this kid, but what do I do about her arms? Saran wrap them? Do I put gloves on her hands? It's still summer in this flippin desert! What about those precious cheeks? And that cute, perfect little button nose. She looks like Rudolph.

DARN YOU, CARPET!